Liovi Shows Big Improvements for the Symptoms Associated with Autism

 Probiotics.


This was one of the first words introduced to me when I was searching for ways to heal my kids' gut issues about 11 or so years ago. 

You find them in fermented foods like pickles and yogurt. 

While reading books on ways to improve my children's immune system, I learned that healing the gut was a huge part of the process.  I also learned that once you began healing the gut, the functions of the brain started to heal as well.  It sounded too good to be true, but I trusted my own "gut" instinct and took a leap of faith starting a journey that changed my families lives forever....for the better!

You might think, like I did a few months ago, that you know everything there is to know about Probiotics and gut health.  There is a good chance you have already tried adding some into your diet, whether through food or supplement.  Maybe you were impressed.   Maybe you were like me.

I have a couple of probiotic capsules and drinks that I really enjoy.  They make my tummy feel so much better.  But I never noticed a huge change in my children's health when adding in a probiotic supplement into their diet. I was discouraged, but over the years, I went on to try other things and didn't think too much about it.

Until last October, when a dear friend of mine introduced me to a new patented probiotic yogurt drink with only one known person with autism who had ever tried it. And that person was having amazing success with their symptoms diagnosed as autism.

It was so new, no one in our community had heard of it before.

I was intrigued but leery, as I learned the yogurt was dairy based.  My children had been dairy free for over a decade.  I didn't want to mess up the good thing we had going.

My "gut" told me my friend was right and I decided to give it a try.  My boys were older and did not have any life threatening allergies so the risk was very small.

To say that I was blown away by how my oldest son with autism reacted would be an understatement.  He was becoming so much more calm, cool and collected.  His OCD habits were disappearing.  We were on to something!

My youngest son's story is much more complex.  You can read about it here in the TMR blog.

So you know it's not just MY kids, I wanted to share the progress of some other kids I know personally who are using Liovi, too.

Who knew a probiotic, with a specific patented strain, would be so life changing?

Let me tell you about D:

D is a 13 year old boy who is mostly nonverbal but types using a word processor to communicate.

When D started Liovi, he had an ATEC score of about  77.  This was after doing Biomedical Interventions since the age 18 mos.  He has made a lot of progess, but still faced some significant challenges.
One of his biggest recent challenges was pooping in the toilet.  He would go into the bathroom, poop in the bathtub and then throw it on the floor. This went on  2-3 times a day and took a huge amount of time to clean up and sanitize each day.
After using Liovi, D started to use the toilet when having a bowel movement!  No more scrubbing the bathroom multiple times a day! 
Mom also heard, "I love you" for the first time!
Approximations also became much more frequent and on point.

Now let's hear about R:

R is 11 years old and on the higher functioning end of the Autism spectrum.  When she started Liovi, her ATEC was between a 9 and a 14, depending on the day.  Her ATEC now after Liovi is at a 6, which means she is communicating more age appropriately and more willing to help and do chores without being constantly reminded or having an attitude.  Her over all behavior, attitude communication and comprehension have all made a significant improvement.  More chill.  Less anxiety. Less obsessing.

Let me tell you about Sophia :

She was diagnosed with moderate severe autism at  24 months old. Sophia was nonverbal until she was 6.  She made lots of progress on biomedical protocols, but still had a ways to go.  After taking Liovi,  she has turned into mama's helper!  She now puts her own clothes away and begs to put her mom's clothes away as well!

Then, there is S:

S is 13 years old. When he started Liovi, he was nonverbal. He was spoon-fed all his life.  Everything he did, was prompted.  He would sit in the same spot for hours unless told to move.  He did not react to the world around him, even when given a B12 injection.

After Liovi, this boy has come out of his shell!  He shows over all awareness of his surroundings.He is saying small sentences.  He is showing his personality.  He is interested in people and things.  He can feed himself.  His progress looked like going from the behavior of a one month old to that of a 3 year old in a matter of weeks!

To see video of him reading, join the FB group Liovi for ASD.

These things sound too good to be true.  I know it's hard to imagine.  That is why I am writing about it.  These kids are making too much progress to keep this a secret!

What does your gut say?

Check out the TMR auction to bid on a case before this Sunday evening at 9pm EST.

liovi.com

Thursday: Attempting 'Normal'

One of the first things I notice is the dog’s water bowl is bone dry. 

Being gone for three weeks and leaving my family to “run the show” while I’m away wouldn’t have been easy if it had been for anyone else but Grandma.  Within 24 hours of learning she was in too much pain for our weekly phone call, I was packed and on my way….traveling over 1200 miles while reminding myself to have faith that God would watch over my family….praying that at least the most important tasks from day to day would be accomplished.

 

After being home for a day and a half, I’m still spending my time busy with the little things that haven't been done because it simply doesn’t occur to others to do them.  Wiping down the ledge around the bathroom vanity, the back splash behind the stove, covering up the blemishes on our used couch with blankets, opening the windows to let in fresh air in the morning, emptying the lint from the dryer…..

And then I see the things that were “on my list” before my daily life was interrupted….a pile of blankets still waiting to be washed, papers still needing to be filed and clothes still waiting to be hung back up in the closet.   

I sit down and began open 21+ days of mail that was carefully stacked and awaiting my return.

I thought it would be easier being home.

I think about all the phone calls, texts and emails I should be making to people who want “updates”... but I can’t bring myself to do it.  I don’t have good news.  I’m just exhausted and I don’t know how to be positive anymore.  And I don’t want to tell the truth over and over.  It’s emotionally draining to rehash, and even though I know everyone is just being caring and thoughtful….I can’t bring myself to do it.  There is too much to do….to catch up on and life didn’t wait for me. It kept going.....and I have to jump right back on this ride, like it’s all in the past and I can get right back to normal; like I’m the same person I always was and I fixed everything and all is well.

The truth is, things are worse than ever and I didn’t fix one  stinking thing.

Now I am home, and have promised to run both households as best I can.  Grandma is still in extreme pain and has no one to consistently care for her so she remains afraid and overwhelmed with worry. 

The people I was counting on to “step up” and “do the right thing”….didn’t and aren’t.

* * *

The first thing I did when I got home was give the dog a bath and wash the pile of blankets from my bed she had been sleeping on in a matted mess on the floor  while I was gone.  It was apparent from the smell, she hadn’t been getting her medicine to treat her systemic yeast infection and that couldn't wait until morning. 

Next, I took a shower.  A nice, hot shower using my own soap and shampoo that don’t have all the chemicals that make me itch and swollen and sick.  You wouldn’t think using a handheld shower head mounted to the side of a tub to rinse off would be that different than a typical shower…..but it really is. 

 

Then I checked my kid’s pill cases, and I see that there are some days they missed their vitamins and supplements….one of which is for their thyroid and can cause a lot of health problem if it’s missed.  I check all the bottles and notice many are empty and I start a list for when I go into town the next day.  This reminds me that I had to cancel an appointment with Tristen’s doctor while I was gone, and I have an email with a list of lab work and additional supplements he needs to be on to help support his unique genetics.  I wonder how I am going to pay for all of it, after spending so much money while I was away.

 

 

 

Whenever Grandma asked me how my family was doing without me, I always smiled and told her they were doing “great”.  They really were.  Josh worked so hard to get the grocery shopping done every Wednesday after work and make dinner every night and smoothies almost every day.  Tanner worked 3 or 4 nights a week and Josh would take him and pick him up.  They made home-made dog food for our sick dog.  Whenever I talked to them, they were happy and positive and doing well.  I was very grateful for that.

I didn’t tell her my worries.  I wished Josh took the boys to church.  I didn’t tell her I was missing out on going with Tanner to a summer overnight activity with his friends when I agreed to stay 10 more days.  I didn’t tell her it was killing me inside to see her in excruciating pain on a constant basis and some days I didn’t know how I would survive it.  Because it’s Grandma.  My favorite person.  And she would do it for me.  I owed her that and more.

 

 

My emotions are still too raw to go deep into detail today.  Although my husband and kids promised me a few days to relax and recuperate when I got home, there is too much to be done. I pay most of our bills on the first of the month and the additional responsibility to care for Grandma’s finances adds to my ever expanding “list”.  Life goes on.   It doesn’t wait for trials and struggles to pass and give you time to catch your breath. They exist and so do you simultaneously. So instead of holding tight, gritting my teeth and waiting for this craziness to end….I have to keep moving.  I have to keep living, and doing and being.  One moment at a time.  And after I survive it….I will conquer the next moment.  Until then, I will survive on silver linings an faith in a merciful God who loves his children.

A Special Love Letter on Valentine's Day

When I started out on the autism journey, I didn't really feel "alone" like most people do.  Doctors, therapists and teachers were my new friends and the appointments kept me busy.  The need for socialization outside of that circle didn't occur to me.    Being an introvert, I experienced life a little differently.



Meeting another mom of a child with autism didn't happen until Tristen was about 3.  The unspoken understanding was profound and so precious. However, military families move away, and we lost touch during those pre-Facebook years.

When Tristen was about 7 we moved from GA and continued to move often.  Each move meant getting acquainted with new teachers, therapists, aides and doctors.  With my drive to help my son make the most progress possible, I remained distracted from the idea of a community who was facing the same trials becoming a support system.

The summer before Tristen would start 10th grade we made our final move to Texas.  This move would be different from all the others because I would be teaching my boys from home.  But what I wasn't prepared for, was the quick decline and dramatic change in my health and well-being.

Looking back now, I can guess at what the main contributing factors were. Extreme stress causes all kinds of havoc on the body. I had some deep depression and dark moments where I felt like I could literally not move my body from the extreme exhaustion.  Then, came the fear of driving and leaving the house.  Finally, my memory became so deteriorated, I could not remember my kid's ages, birthdays, or at times, names.  I was so scared because although these symptoms seemed to ebb and flow, I had undertaken a huge responsibility to teach my children at home and I couldn't let them down.

During those depths of desperation and despair, is when I started reading a lot.  Not just Facebook posts, but blogs too...the stuff I always wished I had time to read when I was a  mom working full time.

When I read a blog on the Thinking Mom's Revolution page about essential oils, and how one particular oil, Frankincense, helped significantly with cognition, I started to weep.  I felt this fact was an indirect message from God, leading me back to the land of the living.  I ordered some immediately.

That was the very beginning.  The beginning of healing for myself and the start of a powerful friendship; one I never realized I needed. It was my first experience being a part of a community who was not only going through what I went through as an autism parent, but believed in the same things I did on how to help heal his body and brain.  What a euphoric feeling to not be alone.....even when I never realized how lonely I was!

During my recovery, I was asked to be a part of a group called TeamTMR.....a group of women like me who wanted to share a story of reality and hope, working together to raise money to give grants to other families with children on the spectrum.  Without hesitation, I agreed wholeheartedly.

Following The Thinking Mom's gave me so much more than just a chance to be a co-author in a published book.  They taught me more about researching and healing our bodies in a safe and natural way.  The Thinking Mom's taught me how to be strong, brave, and stand up for what I believe in, no matter who says you are wrong. They taught me to never give up.  The Thinking Mom's taught me about sisterhood, and how precious and necessary it is.  Now I know, that when I am down or feeling like giving up, someone else is in my corner, being strong for me in that moment, because they have been there before, and they know I will be there for them when the time comes.

So this is my love letter to The Thinking Mom's Revolution....Will you be mine this Valentine's?

Buy our book today and share the stories of hope from this group of ferociously brilliant, determined and loving women.  This second edition comes with updates from your favorite Team members. You don't have to have a child with autism to appreciate it.

An Autism Mom’s Confession: I'm Coming Out

 

 

 

 

               The past few months my family went through an adjustment period.  My oldest son graduated High School, and  we put into place a home-based program  to further his education and growth as an adult on the autism spectrum. The transition was our main focus so much of life was put on hold.  It was a lot of work remodeling to make our vision a reality, but it ended up a success. 

 

 Now that Tristen is settled in his self-led schedule based program, I am able to continue to homeschool my youngest child, and continue to be available for support and redirection as needed.  Now that the transition period was over, I am thinking about the next milestone. In a year and a half, my youngest child will also be a High School Graduate.

 

 

                When I was in the thralls of motherhood, with little children needing constant care and supervision, I used to dream of my life when my kids were grown. I imagined all the things I could do while in that stage of life, like getting a degree and having my own hobbies.  My dreams became bigger and bigger as time went on….a master’s degree, medical school, starting my own business….the sky was the limit.

 Back then I supposed that Tristen would always live with us at home; but what was in question was the degree of assistance and supervision he would need on a daily basis.  What services would be available for him?  Would there be trustworthy care available?  Could he be left alone for short periods of time?

 

And here I find myself, today, with the reality of the situation and it is a sobering one. Tristen has made progress in leaps and bounds, but he is not yet at a place of total independence.  He has ups and downs in which his autism seems more severe some weeks than other weeks.  Often times, months will go by, where I think “He is really overcoming his obstacles,” and then seemingly out of the blue we are surprised by his lack of coping with change or being in tune in “our” world.  During those episodes, he tends to have less of an understanding of where his body is in space (which I refer to him as “a bull in a china shop”).  He is too much in his own world to keep himself safe in his environment, rushing from one end of the house to the other, often times breaking things and hurting himself in the process.  So, as far as fulfilling some of my dreams and life-long passions, much continues to be put on hold so I can care for him properly.

 

 

This is our reality, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have hope for the future.  We will continue to search for ways for his body and mind to heal, and I am confident progress will be made and I will be able to achieve my dreams of so long ago.


But as for now, I needed to find something where I can contribute to my household and give more income to put towards giving my kids the best future possible, while still upholding my maternal responsibilities.

               Then I tried Keto//OS pure ketones energy drink and my whole world changed.  (You can read bout my chronic health issues at greenbeangirl34.blogspot.net)  I felt almost super human using non-jittery energy to clean my house, do laundry and make dinner for my family.....all in a happy cheerful mood!

 

 

At this point, I didn't know much about the product except it was gluten and dairy free and it promised energy.  Never could I have expected such dramatic results.  It was the answer I had been looking for to a better functioning self.

 

From that point on, I had some ups and downs, trying the different products and figuring out just how this stuff worked and why.  I wanted to know how to get the full effect and get my money's worth.  I soon found my sweet spot with a Charged Chocolate Swirl and 100 oz. of water every day.  And when you feel good, you want to tell everyone about it!

 

 

But, my preconceived notions about becoming a promoter loomed in the back of my mind holding me back.

 

 I fought the idea for as long as I could, but in the end, I took the path, after much thought and sincere prayer, that I never thought I would take:  I joined network marketing.

 

                If you have read this far, I hope you will continue on to hear me out, before you write me off as your friend.  You see, I felt the same way as many of you when being approached by my friends who had joined a company to sell something, whether it cleaning products or make up or books or whatever….I always wondered if their friendship and kindness was real, or if all they saw when they looked at me was a potential customer.  I never questioned their love of their own product or the want to earn money for their families.  But the idea of me trying to “sell” things to my friends and family, made me feel pretty uncomfortable.  I didn’t want anyone thinking of me as being insincere or trying to use them for my own personal gain.

                So here is my personal mission statement:  I am your friend regardless of your opinion of the product I am selling.  I will value you and be sincere whether or not you order any products from me....it's that simple.

                I can promise you is this as well:  I am going to tell my truth.  The good, bad, and the ugly of this product as I see it.  I will not lie to you for a sale because my integrity is worth more than that.

                When something impacts you the way this simple energy drink has impacted my life, you can’t help but tell people about it.  They notice the changes in you, and you are happy to share why you are feeling and looking  better. And if you are interested and want to try ketones through my website, that is awesome.  If you don't, no hard feelings.  So hopefully, if ketones doesn't work out for you, you won't hold it against me personally.

 

 In my personal life, I’ve been telling people about vitamins, supplements and therapies for chronic illness and autism for the past 10 years. This is just a way for me to do the same thing but try to earn money to support my family while I do it. Why should I feel guilty?

                So  I decided this is my “coming out” story….a secret I have about how I’ve chosen to live and conduct my life.  I’ve kept this secret the past few weeks because of the stigma around MLMs and I want my family and friends to know the truth, and hopefully be supportive of me and my life choices.

 For more information on my business, click here   and save 20% off through January 31st

 

 

 

 

 

                      

Gory details or the Highlights? Do you really know what's going on in an autism home?

How do you explain life with autism?

Do you give all the gory details?

The trips to the ER....Embarrassing moments in public...Poop?

Most of us Autism Moms live our lives talking about the highlights.  It keeps us going.  Maybe that's what you've heard.....all the cute heart warming things our kids do.

Do people really get what goes on in our lives?

At some level, I would expect most people to have empathy.  Hearing the details of our lives can be uncomfortable, but I would hope for true listening and thoughtfulness.  Maybe even putting themselves in our shoes for a moment....and then realizing those moments make up a lifetime.

I'm not looking for sympathy.  I have a very real sense of how extremely blessed I am.  When Tristen was first diagnosed, I decided right then and there that we were going to do the hard work teaching him how to be in this world despite his aversion to it.  Because of this mindset, we were able to overcome the hardest part of his autism by about age 4.  The "hard parts" for us consisted of meltdowns, bolting, trying to jump out of moving vehicles, constant fevers and vomiting, little to no verbal communication, hurting others and getting used to new places, new things, new people and changes in schedule.

Dad teaching Tristen to use the markers to color instead of lining them up  and repeatedly dropping them be hind the desk.

Now that he is 18, I can look back and see continual progress in his ability to function in this world, especially since starting the gluten casein free diet and biomedical treatment when he was 9 years old.
Tristen is a joy I would never trade who gave my life peace and perspective. 

That is my outlook everyday, so if you meet me on the street or out and about, I will always reply positively that I am doing well.

Keeping life in perspective gets me through the tough days. 

Thousands of parents have children with autism with life threatening seizures, head-bang or bite/pinch themselves and others.  Some parents can't handle them as they grow bigger and stronger and have to trust them to strangers.  That heartbreak has to be unbearable. 

Feces smeared on the walls....a life time of diapers....never hearing "I love you".....

It's too much, so these details tend to fall on deaf ears.

I want people to know that life with autism is good and bad.  It will give you the greatest joy and he deepest heartaches.  You will be exhausted and fulfilled sometimes in the same day.

It. is. not. easy.

And it can change from day to day....week to week.

My sweet Tristen, who has come so far, is back-sliding.  He needs to get back to a biomedical doctor who will do the right tests on him to find out why.  I suspect PANDAS/PANS or a strep infection in his gut.  It's hard for him to focus and stay out of his head long enough to follow directions.  He is almost 6" and 160 lbs. and he spends a lot of time running from one side of the house to the other, spinning and jumping and injuring himself badly because he isn't paying attention to where he is going.

The doctors and tests he needs are not covered by insurance, nor are they anywhere close.

When I do open up and tell someone outside of the autism community something that has happened in our lives, I can tell I make them uncomfortable.  I get that it is hard to imagine.  I guess I'm just looking for some acknowledgement. 

Besides the responsibilities of wife and mother and teacher (because I homeschool) and church responsibilities, I have this very real and overwhelming aspect to my life.  My son has autism.  He doesn't have the challenges of many.  But I have this responsibility to keep him healthy and functional for the rest of my life.  That is a huge weight that others don't recognize.

So I ask, that if you know someone whose life is affected by autism, take a moment to really think about the life they lead.  We don't want pity. We want understanding.  And we want this epidemic to end.

18 and Autistic: Preparing for Life Post High School

For the past 9 years we have been using biomedical and homeopathic treatments as we traveled down the road to recovery. 

Recovery from Autism, to me, means that he is indistinguishable from his peers.

Tristen still has far to go on the road, but we have come very far, and as he graduates high school and moves on to the next chapter of his life, we are celebrating his accomplishments, recognizing the tremendous effort it took to overcome so many challenges.

We look on the future with continuing hope.  We are both grateful to leave the pressures of school-life behind and begin adulthood with an excitement of things to come. Learning doesn't stop just because you are not in school. Everyone should be a life-long-learner.  This is the motto we have adopted as we made plans for the next stage in life.

Because Autism is such a spectrum disorder, no two people are the same.  The ideas we have in place for Tristen will not work for everyone.

The limitations we face come from our environment.....the lack of appropriate programs and services in our area, not to mention we have only lived in this small town for 3 years.  With 90% of people with disabilities being sexually abused during their lifetime, we are not eager to encourage his involvement with people we do not know.

Currently, we are renting a home with an advertised "mother-in-law unit" on the property.  It has it's own water and air conditioning, bathroom and washer and dryer hookup.  Because it was once a one-car garage, it is set up studio-like with an open floor plan and there is no kitchen sink, refrigerator or stove.

Our first steps will be to remodel this room (with permission from the owner of course), to add a kitchen island, recessed lighting to give him much needed light, and some cosmetic repairs.  We also need to replace the window and doors so they are more energy efficient. Some of this will be paid for by the owner and some is our responsibility.

We want this apartment designed to give Tristen the best chance at being as independent as possible.
Using a schedule to direct his daily tasks is the foundation to making this a reality.  Because he has been using a schedule since he was two and relies on it and is comforted by it, Tristen will be able to be mostly independent AND productive.

Tristen will be doing his own cooking for breakfast and lunch.  For dinner, one night a week, he will prepare a meal for our family with little help, just supervision.  The other nights of the week, he will be a part of the meal preparation providing him the opportunity to learn a variety of culinary skills.  Eating dinner together as a family gives him a consistent form of social interaction as well as allowing us to check on his health and well-being.  Plus, we just love to be together as a family!

Sundays we will all continue to attend church.  Sunday afternoons, Tristen will visit members to make sure they are doing well.

Monday nights, we will have family night, where he will come to our house and practice party etiquette.  We will have treats and play games.

Tuesday nights, Tristen will attend a church scripture discussion class with his peers.

Friday afternoons, he will volunteer at the local Bountiful Baskets program unloading the truck, carrying heavy boxes and sorting fruit and vegetables.

Saturdays mornings in the summer will be for mowing the lawn and doing other yard work.

Tristen's daily routine will include the following:  Showering, shaving, exercise, scripture study, IonCleanse by AMD detoxing footbaths, brain teasers and puzzles, book reading, creative writing, journal entries, meal making and eating, and gardening, feeding and caring for his cat and doing household chores.

Once a week routines are as follows:  Grocery shopping, laundry and the library.  (I will also do a deep clean of his apartment once a week)

Once a month, we will plan an educational outing and a just for fun outing.

To fill in our afternoons, we will look into the following options:
-swimming
-gardening
-art classes
-karate lessons
-volunteering at the humane society
-community functions for young adults in our church
-community functions for autistic adults
-creating crafts to sell at Polly's Place
-opportunities to work from home for the autism community

My boy has a plan for a well-rounded future full of fun and learning!  I am excited to have a place for us to start as well, and the flexibility to expand as he learns and grows!

If you would like to help us get Tristen's apartment furnished you can check out his college registry at target.com  and search "Tristen Davidson" or find us on PayPal using Meadow.Davidson@gmail.com

*UPDATE!  We are desperately trying to encourage Tristen's independence by completing remodeling on his apartment and supplying him with the essentials needed to carry out this plan.  Despite doing our best, we are running into some snags trying to make this happen. Please if you can send a few dollars towards this project or send a household item from his registry, I know we can make his dreams come true!  Thank you so much!

"Mom, tomorrow I won't be a kid anymore...."



When I held my baby boy in my arms for the first time, a calm peace rested in my heart, and I knew in that instant, that I was meant to be his mother.  All the chaos, confusion and sadness, that had been my life up until that point, melted away, and I knew, without a doubt, that God had given me the greatest gift in all the world. 

I never wanted to be a mother.  Spending most of my life until that point babysitting, I had thought it was time for me to be me....to do things without the worry of taking care of others. 

It turns out, being a mother is much more than just being responsible for other humans- making sure they are happy, safe, fed and rested.  Those were just "things to do".  Motherhood is really about love.  You do those "things" out of an immeasurable desire....not just because they are necessary.

I didn't look into my son's eyes and wonder what he would grow to become.  Actually, I wondered what I would become.  I wondered if I could be a good mother, reminiscing on the mother's who I had known and influenced me in a positive way.  Could I really be a "good mother"?

Being a mother is the most important thing to be, I decided.  And I was going to give it my everything, no matter how hard it was or what obstacles were put in my way.  This precious child God had put into my life deserved the best of me.  He deserved happiness and unconditional love.

That's when I decided who I was.

I was Tristen's mom.

Tristen turns 18 tomorrow.

When I was 15, I saw in my future a college far away from home and a professional career.  I would live alone in the woods and people would refer to me as "the Crazy Cat Lady".

Three years later, I knew my destiny was to be a mother, but I had no idea the challenges ahead or where we would be in less than 2 decades.

This son of mine has taught me more than I could have ever hoped for or imagined.

Patience.
Unconditional Love.
True Kindness.
What it looks like to have a pure heart.
Faith. 
Understanding.
Loyalty.
Forgiveness.
He has shown me the power of prayer.
Laughter.
The light of Christ shines through him.
Honesty, despite consequences.
Dedication.
Perseverance.

So today, as I think about the boy I have raised, and the man he is about to become, I don't feel sad that he isn't off to college next fall.  He may not have a girlfriend or be able to drive a car, but MY SON has amazing qualities that most people spend a life-time aspiring to. 

And while we prepare for the next steps in his life, I have no doubt he will continue in greatness.  He is not tempted by the devil as most of us are.  Tristen clings to righteousness, going forward in faith.

Really, what more can a mother ask for?



"Mom, thank you for the greatest gift of all..."

I think my favorite part about homeschooling my kids is the time we are able to spend chatting about really important things.  Our conversations are not sparked out of anger or exasperation....we talk about "life" as we live it. 

I like to find teachable moments whenever I can.

Every Wednesday is payday so I go into Wichita to buy groceries.  Tanner had some money left from Christmas, and decided he wanted to look at GameStop.  So after lunch, the boys and I headed into town.  Going "shopping" together is not something we usually do, as they are just happy to let me pick out new shoes or jeans for them when they need them.


Tanner found the used game for a good price, and was very happy to know he would have some money left over. Across the room he spotted a plush-toy that he informed me was rare, and another plush for his collection that was on clearance for under $3.00.  The look on his face was priceless! He had saved his money until he was sure of what he wanted to buy, found it at a good price, and still had enough for two other toys to add to the collection he had been carefully building for years.

On the way home, I told him I was proud of the choices he was making, how he was careful about how he spent his money and how he took care of his things.

At a very young age, my boys were always careful with their toys.  They did not throw them or leave them outside or treat them roughly.  As they grew older, they took care of their movies...then DVD's....then electronics and games.  I never felt like I bought them a gift they wouldn't take care of or didn't deserve.  I also never bought them a toy or game "just because".  Gifts only came on holidays or birthdays for our family.

We were lucky to live near Columbus, GA from 2000 to 2006 because at that time I seemed to find the best deals on toys.  Every spring, all the stores in the city would price their toys at real discounts (remember when clearance really meant more than a dollar off?)  I would get the boys each a gift for their birthdays and holidays for the whole year (and for my nieces and nephews) and save a substantial amount of money.  I could have spent more on them, but I didn't.  One modest gift for each occasion was enough....and because of the early shopping, I was able to get them good quality toys, too. 

Taking a huge garbage bag and cleaning broken toys and trash out of my kid's rooms was never needed.  Items in their possession rarely broke.  Their rooms stayed clean. 

Now Tanner is about to be 16 and Tristen is about to be 18, and when you've been taking care of your possessions, and only buy things that are really truly wanted, it is easy to accumulate a lot.  Moving often helped us to weed out the toys they outgrew them.  With tears ( only mom's) we said 'good-bye' to Bob the Builder, Blue's Clue's, Dora, Care Bears and Veggie Tales.  (I kept all the Thomas trains for myself). 

Tristen and Tanner know how blessed they are to have as much as they do, and they show this by not only being respectful of their things, but also by sharing with others.  Often times, they will use their birthday or Christmas money to buy each other a gift, just to see the smile on their face.  We continue to keep our gift-giving very minimal to ensure they are meaningful.  And since my kids take care of what they have, end up having a lot in the end. 

Just because they have a lot, doesn't mean I will stop buying them appropriate gifts.  I don't believe they should be punished, and have to get rid of their things they have cared for, just because of the sheer volume.

Their rooms stay spotless.  They do their chores every day with out being asked.  They are respectful and love their family.

I don't care who thinks they are spoiled.

Neither of my teenagers own a functioning cell phone.  They don't have tablets or Ipads.  Tanner has a savings account to buy his own computer.

Tanner asked his dad if he could have one of his old game systems for a birthday gift this year.

I don't believe for a moment my kids are spoiled. Very blessed, but not spoiled.

***

I'm not a perfect mother.  My kids mostly had this personality trait on their own.  I nurtured it.  

I wanted to take the time to explain to them how proud I was of them, for being careful, kind,  conscientious, appreciative and respectful.  So, I told them all I mentioned above.

"Wow....I never knew that."

"What didn't you know, Tristen."

"I never remembered I was so good to my trains."

"You were.  It makes me very happy."

We unloaded the groceries and talked about dinner and our evening plans.

Tristen stopped.  "Mom, thank you for the greatest gift of all.  Teaching me responsibility".

"Thank you, Tristen, for being so willing to learn."

Just because my son doesn't have a job, it doesn't mean he's worthless

My oldest son who has autism will be turning 18 in less than two months.  We are preparing for the next step in his life.  His future looks different from other 18 year olds who will be graduating this spring.  He is not going off to college. 
Luckily, we are homeschooling, and we were able to discuss his future this Monday.  My heart was filled with joy at his excitement of starting the next chapter in his life.
We have been blessed to live in a house with a small mother-in-law apartment attached.  This is going to serve the perfect place for my son to shine with independence, while mom and dad can still keep a watchful eye over him.
We talked about the things he will need for his apartment. A discussion of chores and responsibilities ensued.  He didn't want to forget about his cat.  I could see a sense of pride and accomplishment come over him. To say this was a day I will never forget is not an understatement.

When I shared the our excitement with family and friends we were met with frowns and exacerbated looks.
"So what will he DO all day?"
"Surely there has to be some sort of PROGRAM for him?"
"Can't he be a greeter at Wal-Mart or bag groceries or something?"

These people were sorely missing the point.

Having some menial task in the community does not define one's worth.
Becoming an adult and no longer attending "school" does not mean that one completely stops learning.
And the obvious....the point totally missed....is that this young man has AUTISM but has worked his butt off....harder than most for the simplest of tasks....and he has made it to graduation and will be able to live in HIS OWN APARTMENT.

This is no small thing.  And it is definitely more exciting than if he were going to sit at home on the computer and go to bag groceries a couple of hours a week.

This.  This is huge.

Tristen is very routine oriented and has a wickedly sharp memory when it comes to daily tasks.  He knows how to do laundry and prepare meals.  He knows about self-care and safety.  He knows how to properly care for a pet. 

He will need help going to the grocery store and buying food and paying his bills, but I am confidant that in time, he will be independent in that regard as well.

Tristen has a great grasp on health.  He is has always been very focused on eating healthy and exercising, which fits in perfectly with successful adult habits.  We talked about continuing to learn by reading good challenging books and keeping his mind sharp doing puzzles and games.  Tristen is also ready to continue to volunteer in the community and attend his church meetings.

In many ways, he will be much more well-rounded and successful than other teenage boys his age.

These are the things to cherish and be grateful for, instead of thinking about what is lacking.  I whole-heartedly disagree that the only way my child will find worth in adult hood is being part of some community program.  That doesn't mean at some point he won't find a job that suits him or a place for him to make friends.  But for goodness sake....he has made great progress and is going on to have a very fulfilling life. 

If you can't see that, keep your comments to yourself.  Tristen is going to be busy being awesome.

Just because my son plays video games, doesn't mean I'm a bad mother

Somewhere along the way, video games have gotten a bad rap, and so have the parent's that let their kids play them.  This has become such common knowledge, that many parents feel superior to any adult who allows gaming in their home.

I can tell you that I did tip my toe into the gaming world ever so slightly when my kids were young.  In face, the first gaming system my boys had was purchased by me, as another form of learning.  It was called the V-smile and it had simple games for young children (back before Ipads and Iphones) to learn their ABC's and 123's.  You see, my child was diagnosed with autism, and it was particularly difficult to get him to be interested in something long enough to learn it.  I should have bought stock in LeapFrog, because that's where our money went to every holiday.  It was all about the learning in our home....for both our children....and we, as parents concerned about their well-being, wanted to give them all the opportunities we could to learn in various forms.

My husband was an avid gamer, but spent most of their formative years deployed.  We had (and still have) a strict rule about the types of games he is allowed to play in their presence.

My youngest son was in about first or second grade when he got a Gameboy for a gift.   I wasn't extremely thrilled, as I wanted to try to keep them from too much video game playing for as long as possible, but he really enjoyed it and it helped to keep him occupied on long trips.  What I realized was, that I had control of what kinds of games he played and how long he played them.

This was really a formative point in our relationship with games and how they affected us and our lives. 

When my kids were very young, we spend every afternoon outside.  In the sandbox, on the swing set, riding toys around the sidewalks, going to the park and the pool.  We were always outside playing letting them get all their little boy energy out.  And they loved it.

But my kids aren't like most kids.  They got sick.  They were sick A LOT.  Constant rashes and blisters plagued them.  Soon it became apparent the grasses, sand and pollen were having a negative affect.

As they grew older, we bought them bicycles and taught them how to ride bikes, but they were uncoordinated and did not feel well when they were outside.  Soon we found out they had seasonal allergies.  This didn't stop us from expecting them to participate in school and church activities that required them to be outside, but they began to choose to be indoors during their free time more often than not.

Now, by boys are just a few short weeks shy of being 16 and 18.  They never developed much talent for sports and felt awkward trying to keep up with their peers.  Camping was a fail, as the weather, bugs and nature seemed to have a negative affect on them.  Fishing proved unimpressive.

Common comments to me have proved quite offensive when referring to the time my boys spend playing video games, and I felt the need to write to explain why my teenage boys enjoying some game time does not make me a bad mother and it most definitely does not make them bad kids.

1) We continue to monitor what kinds of games are played.

My soon to be 18 year old only plays Lego games.  Lego Batman.  Lego Star Wars.  He plays in spurts.  He might really enjoy playing a couple of hours a day for a few days, but then he goes on to something else.  He doesn't play any online games.

My soon to be 16 year old is not interested in games with blood and gore and he does not like foul language.  He enjoys playing games that are usually geared toward kids around age 10.  He knows he has schoolwork, chores and lunch to do before he can play and that the TV is always Dad's when he gets home.  He sets up a little time for himself every afternoon and then moves on to other activities.

2)We continue to monitor how much time is spent gaming.  We also monitor their mood and agitation level.  A rule in our house is that if it causes you to become angry, frustrated, or upset, then it really isn't "fun" anymore and shouldn't be played.

3)Our children do as they are asked.

Untypical of teenage boys, they are not allowed to play anything after 10pm.  They wake up about 6 am every day (even though they are home-schooled) and stick to a rigid routine for breakfast, school, chores and lunch.  They do extra chores when asked without complaint.  They are kind and respectful to their parents and each other.  Why wouldn't we let them do what they enjoy in their free time?

4)Our children are not social.

Social awkward is an accurate description.  They don't relate well to other children, and most of their peers enjoy movies, games, dating and cell phones that my boys have zero interest in.  We have taught them to be "in" the world, but not "of" the world.....and that can make it hard to have friends with the same interests and values that you have.

At the end of the day, these are my children.  Their compliance and personalities dictate what rules we enforce in our home.  Maybe if we had different children, who were more obsessive or more defiant, we would have reason to limit their activities more.  Because we have been consistent in our rules and consequences from day one, gaming is only a small part of our lives that we do not see as an issue.  We are fully aware it could become one and if that happens we will deal with it accordingly. 

Video games aren't going away. They are a big part of the culture of the times, and I believe being too extremely strict could backfire at some point, causing them to rebel against all our rules.  Especially for kids who are socially awkward....a video game may be their only way to connect with another human being.

Just because my kids play video games, doesn't make me a bad mother.  But judging someone else's parenting on one fact, without understanding their unique situation, makes you a pretty mean and misguided person.

Reflections on Material Possessions

Somehow we made it through the holidays.  Here we are, a little battered and bruised....but we made it to 2016. 
My husband's mother and her husband were able to make the trip from Oklahoma to stay with us for Christmas through New Year's.  We had a nice time.   Nothing big or fancy, but just enjoyed time spent together with relaxation and good conversation. 
I've spent the time since, thinking about some casual comments made to me about things in our home that I brushed off at the time, but have begun to fester.  Comments about the decoration of our home, the state of our linens, mismatched furniture etc.
One of the things I really enjoy is decorating a room.  I love to find an object to base the room on, pic out paint colors, match and organize.  Walking into a fresh clean room is like a breath of fresh air for me.
We moved into our new home about five months ago and the first thing I did was imagine how I could decorate in a way that wouldn't break the bank.  We live a very frugal lifestyle so we can afford to care for our medically fragile family.  Autism is not cheap, and we are grateful we know what to do to help our son overcome the difficulties he faces each day.  Because of this, "things" do not have much value to me anymore.  Even though I love to decorate, it is just a fraction of what I would do if I had unlimited funds....or even some allotted funds.  So, all I decorated after the move was the two boys bedrooms.  It was enough to get me by and the rest would have to wait.
During the holidays, I was of course, thinking about gifts.  The last thing I wanted to buy for anyone in my family was useless "stuff" and it was also the last think I wanted to put on my list.  I didn't want anything I had to dust and nothing that would completely lose it's value the moment purchased, like a boxes set of a TV series.
I could think of things we needed....new underwear is always a useful gift!  Maybe a robe or slippers when the house gets a little cool.  But in reality....nobody really NEEDED anything...and I was relieved. I felt very blessed and content.
But then the comments started. 
Were they true?  Yes.  Most of our towels are stained mismatched and falling apart, in all three bathrooms and in the kitchen.  Are the pictures on the walls small and bland....sure.  Furniture mismatched....Yep.
I never let myself feel bad about these things.  After all, it's just "stuff".  Do we have a couch to sit on?  Yeah we do.  That's all that really matters to me at this point. 
I need my family to be healthy.  My thoughts are on vitamins, supplements and detox, not frilly wall décor.  It's just not what's important.
One day we will be able to buy new linens that all match and paint the walls and take out this old carpeting, but for today.....I remain grateful that we have what we NEED. 

I know what was said was not to intentionally be offensive.  At first, I started feeling really insecure about my home and letting people see it.  Does everyone look at all that is lacking?  I for one, see the potential here and just because we can't get it all done right away, doesn't take away from it's value.
My family's health is first and foremost.  And if it's not a functional item in this home, well, it just costs money, collects dust, and takes up space.

This was a good reminder, to not let anyone ruin your happiness. 

Second Regression

The first regression was after only a few days old.  The perfect baby boy who slept so well during the night and nursed like a champ was gone after the Hep B and replaced by a vomiting, colicky, sleep-deprived baby.  And that's over simplfying it.

From the referral to the Early Intervention Team in our state, I made it my personal mission to learn everything they had to offer and to work non-stop to help my son catch up to his missed milestones. 

Over the next few months, I would see a glimmer of speech development from time to time, but just when I thought speech was emerging, there was another ear infection, another round of antibiotics and/or another vaccination.

Once the diagnosis of Autism came, forget trying to get a doctor to treat any underlying illness!  He remained sick with fevers, vomiting and rashes and my pleas fell on apathetic ears.

I didn't learn about biomedical treatment and DAN! doctors (now MAPS) until Tristen was 9 years old.  We saw immediate improvements eliminating wheat and dairy and never looked back. 

We made slow progress using a variety of interventions such as supplements, chelation, yeast treatment, HBOT and chiropractic.

Within the last year, we saw even more gains, especially after a homeopathy trial, and we were close to single digits on his ATEC. At 17, we had a good prognosis for his future.

Unfortunately, just after New Years, things started to go downhill. 

Sometimes you have bad days, or a bad week, so in the Autism world, if he's a bit "off", I don't get too concerned right away.  I wait and watch to see if it progresses or if he comes out of it.

But weeks turned into months, and as I battled my own histamine related brain fog, all I could do was watch helplessly as my sweet 17 year old boy continued to spiral downwards.

I watched as he literally jumped out of bed this morning pacing and reciting movies in his head at 4:45 am.

During his homeschool spelling lesson, he became easily agitated, EVEN as I slowly spelled out each word for him, there was stomping  and frustration while he was on the verge of tears.  His usual drive for his homeschooling plan has diminished, as he can barely keep his mind from wandering back to Star Wars.

Despite the Epsom salt baths and a slathering of oils from head to toe, he spends most of his day pacing and twirling and running and sliding from one end of the house to the other, reciting Star Wars episodes he has memorized.

I couldn't believe how difficult it was for him to even watch a TV show he picked out, because every 10 to 20 seconds he had to pause it to pace back and forth while reciting Star Wars.

Sometimes I just get in my car to drive to hear the silence.

I'm losing him.  I'm losing him all over again.  All the years of sacrifice and regimens for nothing.  We are back to that same 9 year old boy, who doesn't answer questions or hear his name when it's called. 

Three weeks ago, he spoke in front of the church congregation, and needed minimal help reading his paper.  Yesterday, he went into fight or flight mode and nearly ran off crying.

So what do you do when you have to start over, from square one, and you are still in so much debt from previous treatments, you don't have a clue how you are going to start, if you can even figure it out?

I have about a hundred dollar a month budget to treat myself and my two boys.

Did I tell you about Tanner?

Tanner was diagnosed at 12 with sensory processing order, anxiety and school diagnosed Asperger's.  He can be difficult, especially when it comes to leaving the house.  He has become much more argumentative lately, which I chalked up to his 15 year old self.  Feeling sick and miserable all the time, his combative tone is often more than I can bare.

A couple of weeks ago, he is talking to me and his head twitched to the side and he grabbed it and said "Ow!".  He preceded to tell me he gets frequent shooting pains in his head that causes his head to twitch.

Last Wednesday night, there was finally an activity at church he was excited about.  The boys had bottles of Diet Coke and Mentos to make explosions.  I watched candidly from inside the building....mostly to see how Tristen was handling the activity.  I was absolutely shocked to see Tanner bouncing on his tip toes and shaking his hands at the wrists.  Quickly getting out my phone to video, I managed to see it two more times...the same movements some of my autistic students would make when they were super excited.  I'd NEVER seen Tanner do this before.

During reading today, he could barely read because he was stuttering so badly.

So what is my next step?  Do I quit the supplements I've been taking to combat histamine intolerance and Mast Cell Activation....basically essential for me to barely function so I can heal my kids?  Of course!  Except, if I do that, I won't be well enough or competent enough to heal them.

Is it worth it to do genetic testing on us all?  If it is, how long before I can save up to have it done?

How can I afford payments to get us all back to a "real" doctor and the travel expenses of getting there and back?

Is this really about Mast Cell Activation for us all?  Or is it more like PANDAS/PANS?

Do I forget about all of that and just go homeopathic?

I need help....and I HATE asking for help....

But I can't continue to watch my family's health decline.  This is their future.  And it means everything to me to recover them from the illness keeping them from reaching their full potential.

If you have a service or a supplement that you believe would help my family, I would love to hear from you.  You can email me at Meadow.Davidson@gmail.com

If you are so inclined to make a monetary donation, see the PayPal button on the left of this page.

As we start again on this healing journey, I will be blogging about our progress here and at greenbeangirl34.blogspot.com

Cops at the Park

“I am never going that park again.” Tristen said a resolute sadness. He was ashamed for “getting into trouble”, which he rarely does, because he is very adamant about following rules.

“Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. The police came to make sure you weren't supposed to be at the High School. You are homeschooled, so you can be at the park. You didn't do anything wrong. The police were just checking on you.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed and he bounced up and galloped off with a light in his eye and a slight smile on his face.

Why didn't it make ME feel any better?

As I sit here and repeat the mantra to myself...you weren't doing anything wrong, you weren't doing anything wrong....the paralyzing fear is real and intense.

I don't feel good about my kids playing at the park this morning while I walked the exterior sidewalk, because the cops showed up and interrogated them...and because I know you don't necessarily have to be doing something wrong to get into trouble with the police or have your children taken away.

I know this for multiple reasons.

I read this week about kids being taken away from parents for walking home from a park alone.

I know this from the countless medical kidnaps going on in this country from anything from asking for a second opinion, to delaying a vaccine or the doctor just plain thinking it's all in your head . Justina Pelletier's case made national news. You can read about it here.

The Stanley's in AR are still fighting to get their kids back after they were taken for having a legal water purification substance in their house.

Now that the initial shock is over, I'm angry that I have to be afraid. My husband fought for this country and was injured for life doing so. He fought so we could have freedoms. I don't feel very free.

I'm afraid to send my child to public school. You don't have to do much googling to see all the abuse in special ed classrooms and buses throughout the country.

I've been afraid to take my kid's to the doctor for fear of being be-rated for refusing a shot or an antibiotic or worse, being reported to CPS. I'm afraid of being kicked out of the office because my kids have not had their High School boosters, or being forced to sign something admitting I'm a neglectful parent.

And now I'm afraid to go to the park.

There isn't much to do in this tiny southern town. Both of my boys, 15 and 17, have social impairments that make it hard to relate to others and make friends. Spending time outside is also a chore, but I decided to take advantage of the spring weather and take them to the park to meet up with another homeschooling family from our church from about 7-8 each morning. Today, someone in the community called the police on the kids for being in the park.

As my friend and I rounded the corner and saw three police cars parked by the steps of the enclosed basketball court where the kids were playing, we started to run. I actually hoped in my head someone was hurt rather than “in trouble”. Then the panic set in, I stopped and doubled over, sick to my stomach with terror.

You see, regardless of all the reasons a person nowadays should be worried their children will be taken away from them, I experienced this first hand a couple of years ago. My grandmother, who would give June Clever a run for her money, had her 17 year old granddaughter taken away from her over a misunderstanding due to her disability. Seeing my 85 year old grandmother taken away in handcuffs crushed me in a way I have no words to describe.

But she didn't do anything wrong.

My world crumbled. Nothing made sense anymore and I no longer felt safe. I felt like anyone could be punished for anything no matter when or where or if it was warranted.

My grandmother's lawyer reviewed everything and was in shock because the police had no legal standing to have done what they did.

She went through a year of hell anyway. Attending every meeting, counseling, court date and spending thousands of dollars on attorney fees. They even kept her granddaughter from her after she turned 18.

There is an illusion in this country of greatness and freedom.

My grandma never had so much as a parking ticket in her whole life. She retired as clerk of courts and new the judges and police in the average town well.

If it can happen to her, it can happen to anybody.

What I learned was this: It's not the actual doing of wrong, it's the perception of wrong-doing by those in charge.

We've had an unusual amount of rain here. Lots of green grass and wildflowers. I see one of my neighbors mowed all of their lawn except a about an 8 by 6 foot patch that is considerably longer than the rest. The city offers citations to those who do not keep their lawn trimmed to a certain height, so I was curious to why they did not mow such a large overgrown section.

Bluebonnets. Texas' state flower. Anyone you ask will tell you it is illegal to pick/cut them. It's taught in schools and down from generation to generation. I was intrigued and started to research.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/weather/stories/Q-Picking-Bluebonnets-is-Against-the-Law-145957345.html

It's not illegal. You have to be careful what you do in state parks, gardens or private property, but that's with anything and not limited to bluebonnets.

What is my point with all of this?

Even with this knowledge, I wouldn't be surprised if a police officer stopped me and prohibited me from doing so.

It's not about the real law, it's the perception of the law by the person enforcing the law.