Why I'm Choosing to Homeschool

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/23273114/2013/08/27/children-with-disabilities-tortured-in-katy-isd-elementary

 

 

Having recently moved to Texas, I agonized about putting my Autistic sophomore through yet another school change.  Seeing this news report this morning evoked deep emotion.

 

I look at the sweet-faced little boy and see, not only my son, but many similar students I have worked with over the years. I try to fathom what on Earth would possess them to use such vile tactics?  I can't begin to understand the thought process that would lead to the assumption that this type of "teaching" is acceptable.  I wonder how many people probably knew of the teacher's and aide's practices.  How long did it go on?  Did anyone try to stop them?  Did they go to the principal or the school board?  Were they brushed off?  Or did they believe this was "what needed to be done" for "those kinds of students"?

 

When I read the first grader had attempted suicide...my heart was breaking.

 

He could speak, but he did not tell for a long time.

 

The teacher(s) and aides were fired but parents were never notified of the abuse.  This child at least should have immediately began counseling to try to ease the pain of his afflictions and taken out of the school district all together.  In his mind, he might not have realized the adults who caused terror could not come back to school and lived in constant fear. 

 

My heart breaks for this child and all those like him.

 

Working for a school district, moving around, and being very involved in my children's education...I know a lot of teachers.  When I shared the thought of homeschooling my kids once we moved to Texas,  I sensed a weird vibe.  And I get it.  Teacher's can't really be PRO homeschooling.  If we all did it, they wouldn't have jobs.  And they can't possibly think that just ANYONE can do it, or their  years of college and degrees would be meaningless.  So, I understand why they would be less than enthusiastic and minimally supportive.

 

But when you have experienced multiple districts, schools, teachers, special ed teachers, programs, aides, students....you can easily distinguish the good from the bad....the ones that care and the ones that don't.  And when you are in the special education classroom as an employee yourself, you really get to see what goes on without the parents, or community for that matter, knowledge.  You see how IEP's can be "fudged".  You see staff's  TRUE feelings toward special needs individuals.  It starts to eat you up inside.

 

So, I chose homeschooling this year, and wish I would have/ could have done it all along.  This first week of school we are getting right to the books....we are LEARNING.  There is no week-long review of the "Rules" for classroom, assemblies, lunchroom etc.  They do this for all kids, to "re-teach" the ones who don't follow the rules.  Teaching staff believes if children are not following the rules, it is because they failed to appropriately teach them.  So they spend A LOT of time re-teaching.  A time your child could be learning, and chances are your child already knows the rules.

(I find supervision and follow through are more productive if you want a child to follow rules and expectations.)

 

I choose homeschooling because there is no one else who knows what is best for my child but me.  Many many teachers believe they know better than the parents and blame us for everything.  I want to decide when my autistic son learns about birth control; or if he is ready for an overnight field trip...and that doesn't make me a bad parent if I don't feel comfortable with it at the time it is suggested by the teacher.

 

I choose to home school so I can prepare healthy, organic foods and snacks for my kids throughout the day without them being constantly bombarded with sugary parties and rewards.  I want to teach them WHY we eat the food we eat and what it does for their bodies.

I want them to know MILK is NOT good for you, and calcium comes from and is better absorbed from other healthier sources.

 

I choose to home school because I want my son to have his academic schedule adapted to his ability level!  I have been arguing this for YEARS with teaching staff.  He is quite ABLE, but not always at grade level.  He doesn't need to draw six pictures of the solar system a day because the subject material he is expected to sit through is so above him he has no clue what anyone is talking about.  It is NOT acceptable to simply give him an A for attendance because they "understand" he can't do the work.  They should be giving him work he "can" do so he is not bored and he is getting something out of school.  Otherwise they are just baby-sitting.

 

I also want my son to have a real curriculum, not one that is the same every year no matter if he has mastered the skill or not.

 

I printed out the news story above to carry with me, so every time I get that look...."Home school? Why?"  I can show it to them.  This is one of the worst case scenarios, but I am not taking that chance again. 

 

After Hyperbaric treatment last summer, Tristen's mind was being open up to past memories and he was verbally sharing more than ever.  He told me he remembered his kindergarten teacher spanking him.  He said, "But mom...I was just a little boy!  I just wanted to go home!"  It broke my heart to hear my 14 year old, who was low verbal at the time, express such pain over something that happened so many years before.

 

The thing was, I expected something was wrong, so I  made it a point to be at that school as often as possible.  I signed up for every party and field trip and showed up unexpectedly with "treats".  He started throwing up every morning at school and I would have to pick him up.  He was never "ill".  I had a feeling in my gut something was wrong.  I questioned staff.  I worried he was being "touched" by someone or mistreated in some way.  No one had any ideas or gave any clues to what could be wrong. 

 

He was in the same classroom, with the same teacher and aide for first grade when the teacher broke down in tears at a conference and told me that she was a victim.  She told me that most of the school staff and principal was white and they were framing her for abuse.  They alleged she hit a child with a ruler, but could never prove it, even after an investigation.

 

Tristen new the truth all along.
 

I hope and pray parents become informed.  We WANT to trust our children's teachers so MUCH because the thought of having to leave them with someone who isnt' safe is inconceivable.  But we HAVE to do our homework and research and CHECK UP!  They aren't going to put cameras in classrooms anytime soon, I'm afraid.  If we ALL start to be aware, it will be harder to hide it from us and things will have to change.

My thoughts and prayers are with all our little loved ones who are embarking this fall on a new school year.  May God be with you and protect you and let us know when we should be alarmed.

 

 

IEP Goals

Over the years, I have attended my son's IEP meetings, mostly interested in what progress has been made in the past year.  I am curious to hear if his reading level has improved and if he is keeping up with his grade level in math.  I am interested in how he copes with the day to day tasks in his school and how he gets along with staff and peers.
Every so often, a  staff member would present a goal that didn't really make sense to me. I would ask questions and voice my opinion, but I never really felt like I was taken seriously.  They were the professionals and they knew better.  I would leave feeling anything but optimistic, and most often than not, that goal would remain on his IEP until he changed schools or professionals, and they would change it to something else.
What started becoming apparent to me as I worked as an educational assistant for children with autism, is that there was this unsaid understanding between the staff members that if you helped a child complete a certain task over and over and over again, and lessened the support over time, the child would do the task without support.  This is not always the case.  There has to be some sort of "desired outcome" for the student for this to work.
For example:  Child will learn to button and unbutton jeans when using the bathroom.
Professionals assume that with correct prompting, a child will do this task.  To me, it is as if they believe they can brain washed this child...as if they assume there is nothing going on in their heads at any given time and they will just comply to any command if practiced enough. This could not be further from the truth.
These children, verbal or nonverbal, are not computers to be programmed.  They are real individuals with real thoughts and feelings....likes and dislikes.  The obstacle in helping them learn is that they may not feel social pressure to do something that doesn't matter to them.
For example: In the case of the autistic child who is expected to learn to button his pants.
He may have the fine motor skills to button his pants after using the bathroom, but he has no understanding of social expectation to do so.  Does this child care if he is wearing clothes?  If he is seen by others in his underwear or with his pants down?  If he does not, we cannot make him understand that is socially unacceptable.  Over time, with lots of patience and waiting, you could teach him he was not allowed to leave the bathroom and go on with the next task of the day until he has buttoned his pants.  This would be beneficial as a life long skill, but is there staff available for such a task?  If it were possible to teach this way, he will learn it, but what he has learned is that he has to button his pants to leave the bathroom, not that leaving pants unbuttoned or down would be inappropriate to society.
I remember an IEP goal set for my 14 year old son, during the first year of High School.  Although he attended classes and lunch with the same students he had since fourth grade, he still chose to eat alone at lunch without any social interaction.  The teacher put in a goal for him to sit with his others on his own and to strike up spontaneous conversation with peers.  At this time, he was only speaking to staff when he had a a question.
Yes!  This would be lovely!  To see Tristen being more social with his peers and having real friendships....but when you put in a goal as a professional, you should be thinking about how the student can achieve this goal. The professional assumed that in redirecting Tristen to sit with his classmates and ask them questions, he would just automatically do so over time.  He has autism!  Being social just does not occur to him as being important.  How can you MAKE him think that is important?  You can't.
Tristen is a very sweet and well liked young man.  If you were to tell him everyday he HAD to sit next to a student...he would.  If you told him he needed to talk to them, he would become confused and cry.  He would want to know exactly what you wanted him to say to that individual.  And if you told him, he would say it and then be relieved when the exchange was over and head back to his quiet spot by himself where he feels the most comfortable.
This goal bothered me because I couldn't figure out how to logically execute a teaching strategy so he could be successful.  That is a part of autism I can not change.  I can continue to expose him to the outside world to keep him from reverting too much into his own world, but I can't make him WANT to interact with others.
Almost a year after the introduction of this goal into his IEP, Tristen had made no progress.
This summer we were able to connect with some old friends.  Tristen had another little buddy with Autism when he was in preschool....he knew him a few short years before they had to move away.  It has been around 10 years since seeing his "friend", of whom he could not speak to during the time they had played together with their Thomas trains.  He was SO excited to meet up with his "friend", he ran up to him to say "hello".  Later, Tristen asked me how old his friend was, and I told him he should ask him.  About twenty minutes later, he ran up to him and looked him in the eyes and said, "I'm fifteen years old". This was his attempt at a conversation, hoping to find out the boy's age.
When we went to lunch, it was the first time Tristen had not rushed and fought to be sure to sit by me.  This time, he watched his friend and waited for him to sit so he could sit next to him.  They did not talk or have a deep conversation, but I knew this was huge.
Why?  Because this was HIS decision.  No prompting. No training.  No working.  HE wanted to sit next to his friend.  This was all Tristen and all his work leading him to this accomplishment.  I was so proud of him and the young man he is becoming.  His successes are all HIS.
 

Saying Goodbye

Typing the title of this post, my eyes are filled with tears.
I remember the first time I saw my little guy.  I had started subbing for the school district to earn money to pay for biomedical treatment for my own son with autism.  Some kids intrigue me.  He was the first.
I started subbing almost exclusively at the school in town where they send all the autistic students.  I took every job I could with them and loved every minute of it.
Not long into the school year, I was offered a long-term sub job for this little blonde autistic boy.  We were destined to be best friends.
That was kindergarten, and I was lucky enough for that long-term sub position to turn into full-time employment and that is where I've been....he and I together for close to five years.
Thursday, I had to say good-bye.
My family is moving to the other side of the country.  My husband had a job at the base here, but when the contract ended, he looked for work in the area for 15 months.  His unemployment ran out in January, so he went to live with his parents to look for work there.  Finally, in March he was hired.
It's been a tough road trying to support a family on an Educational Assistant's salary.  Not to mention, we all have allergies, gut issues and immune dysfunctions, so our food and medical costs are higher than most.  God helped us make it through, but at this point the only thing for our family to do to survive is to be together.  We simply can't afford to live apart, and the boys miss their dad.
Leaving is breaking my heart.
The last day of school was torture.  I had to fight back tears all day, and I am not a weepy person.  I have been through a lot in my life, a lot of struggle and pain and unfairness.  I don't get worked up often.  I couldn't control it as hard as I tried.  I swallowed over and over and over to keep the tears from falling.  I breathed in and out and in and out counting the breaths.  All I could think in my mind was how he wouldn't understand why I wasn't there.  He was going to think I abandoned him.  I will disappear.
All the "lasts" got to me.  The worst was the end of the day bathroom time.  Sounds ridiculous, I know, how could taking the child to the bathroom be the saddest moment?
I thought back to those first days.  Those first days where I looked at him and knew he didn't need diapers.  I looked into those adorable brown eyes and I saw his potential.  He was smart.  He could learn...and we were going to tackle potty-training together.
I thought about all the times he would get so mad at me.  He would be so frustrated that I wanted him to sit on the potty and he didn't want to.  I was patient and waited for him to be calm and sit for just a few minutes.    
I knew once he got past his fear he would be able to accomplish it.  I wanted him to know I would be there for him and he didn't need to worry.  I told him it was going to be o.k.
And now, there is no struggle, no diapers, no pull-ups, no accidents and there hasn't been in years.  He is so brave, he even uses all bathrooms on outings....even outhouses.
And on our last day together, as I am helping him button his shorts, he puts his little hands on my cheeks and leans in to give me a quick kiss next to my nose.  He laughs and claps his hands together in his unique non-verbal way.
I want to hold him and cry for hours.  I want him to know how special he is to me and if I had it my way, I would never leave him.
I think he knew something was wrong.  I think that time he was telling ME, everything was going to be o.k.
My dear sweet boy, you will forever be in my heart.

Never Overlook an Opportunity to Teach

There are people in the world who wonder why I do what I do.  I get a comment on it almost daily.  "Why do you do BLANK  for the special ed kids?  Especially when it comes to school field trips.

"They don't know what that is all about."
"They would rather be home watching TV"
"What are they going to get out of it?"
"It's too much work."

And, unfortunately, there are still those that frequently comment on why special ed children are even allowed in school.

There are so many things an autistic child can learn from a field trip it is hard for me to even know where to start.

1. Experiencing the world

Getting out and about in the world...experiencing new places and meeting new people makes any individual more well-rounded.  I always tell people who live in our small town, they need to move to city somewhere far away and live for at least a year, just to have the experience and see what life is like in other places.  It really opens your eyes to so many cultural things and you become more thoughtful about the dynamics of where you live.  Being Autistic doesn't make that fact not true.  They are seeing, tasting, hearing and feeling things outside of their normal life that help them to understand the world better and in more depth.  It also helps with their overwhelming anxiety to experience new things and realize everything is still o.k.

2. Learning to cope with new places

Maybe the soda from the fountain tastes different because the water they use to mix it is different.  Maybe the sound of the bumps in the road are different.  Maybe the air smells different because of the trees and dirt. Learning to cope with these changes of a new place will increase their awareness of the outside world and help them to compare and contrast things they may never have had the chance to before.

3. Learning to cope in large groups of people

There is a certain energy about a crowd.  You can feel it when you get too close, and especially when the crowd is anxious or excited, it can be very unsettling for an autistic child.  I find staying calm just outside of that surge of energy....a few feet back, is the best way to help the child cope.  Still close enough to hear, see, smell, sense the idea of what is going on around him/her, but not close enough to become so overwhelmed a meltdown may be in order.  Keep him/her calm with familiar songs, toys, games, rocking, cuddling.  (I save the extra special lap-time or cuddle time for these very tense moments, because at a certain point the child gets older and those sort of things become inappropriate.)  Even if the child will be in a group home, dealing with crowds at the care facility or on outings will be a must.  It will be much easier if the child is exposed to it frequently, to help build a tolerance for social situations.  Learning how to act appropriately in public, like being quiet (if that concept is understood), personal space issues (if the child likes to caress hair or clothing of strangers), and to keep their mannerisms calm as well (if this is also understood),

*My son is 15 and has autism.  He giggles to himself and spins in circles at home, but he knows when we are on an outing he must refrain.  I believe self-control helps the child to pull out of his/her "head" and join the real world when it is appropriate to do so.  When it is his free time, he can do as he pleases to stim or spin in a way that is familiar and comfortable to him.


4. Learning to cope around new people

People sound, smell, feel and look different, each and everyone, which can be overwhelming to a child who is very sensitive and detail oriented.  Helping him/her to be comfortable and not scared by a new person is essential for a fulfilling adult life.

5. Learning to adjust to a different schedule

I personally like to keep schedules the same for my autistic friends.  I know it eases their anxiety and it helps to keep them calmer when a change does occur.  When we are on an outing, I like to incorporate the same phrases where applicable and mini routines he/she will recognize from school.  We might set up our lunch the same way we would at school, using the same key phrases.  We always do the same bathroom routine, even using picture cards he/she is familiar with from school.  In a way, I want them to know that even though there are changes and it will be a little frightening, I am there and I will keep you safe and calm.  I do not talk much on field trips...my job is to show the anxious child I am calm.  He/she can sense my mood and judge my actions very easily.  Also, if you are too worried about getting your own social time in, how can you focus on the needs of the child?  The day is not about you. The children I have worked with can tell quickly when they are being ignored, and tend to act up, get into things, revert to bad behaviors, whine, or have bathrooming accidents when this occurs.

6. Learning to use public restrooms.

This to me is the most important reason to take a child on frequent outings.  Many people do not like public restrooms for various reasons and the autistic child is no different times 10.  They are concerned about the sound, the echo, the feeling of the toilet, is it too high, too low, too cold, too warm, how does it flush?, does it flush on it's own?, how small is the stall?. how does the toilet paper feel?, is it rough?, is it soft?, how does it smell? etc etc.
I like to start every entering of a building with a bathroom break....just get it out of the way first thing.  We enter a new place, we find the bathroom and we go through our routine.  In early potty-training years, I have brought a picture schedule from school with each step on it and candy for a reward for handling the situation appropriately.
There is never a question if the child has to go or not, we go, go through our routine and try.  That's it.  This is best to avoid accidents and rid one of the need for diapers.

7. Learning to cope under different sensory overload, such as sound, texture, temperatures

Everything around him/her will be bombarding this child.  I like to have my bag-o-tricks handy.  I start with the expectation of the child having to sit quietly and "listen" for an appropriate amount of time...each child is different.  When I know the child has done his/her best at this, we may start with a special fidget that he/she only gets to use on fieldtrips.  This is only done if the child has not melted down to receive the toy, which would be reinforcing the negative behavior.  Carefully watching them should tell you when they are getting agitated before the meltdown if you are observant. Rocking may be a cue or hand wringing, etc.

When that fidget has lost it's appeal, I may have another fidget, or maybe a favorite book.   After a while of good behavior, we may sit down and have a snack.  It is good to change objects with each transition as well.  This type of ritual makes sense to autistic children and helps them to remain calm and cope.
My last resort, before technology, would be candy.  I believe candy should also only be used in delicate situations such as this.

For a big-time upset, like a bus breakdown or traffic jam stand-still, I get out the Ipad.  I hesitate to do this too soon in the trip, as the child loses out on many learning experiences when immersed in the technology.  They are missing out on the learning experiences I mentioned earlier.


8. Any teaching opportunities that may arise.

I like looking for ways my child can learn while on an outing...something they may be working on as a goal at school, or something difficult for them.  For example, if a child had trouble going up the stairs, maybe he/she only stepped up with the right foot instead of right left right left....take the time and be patient and encourage them to use their right, then left, then right, then left.  If they struggle opening doors, be patient and let him/her open the door when entering a room.  Praise them and be excited for their efforts.

Never overlook an opportunity to teach.  Take chances and try new things with autistic individuals.  Instead of thinking what they can't do, think about what they just might be able to do, if you were only to try.  Kids in general live up to what they are expected to do.  If we just expect these children to be constantly cared for and secluded in the house, that's what they will be.  We have to give them the chance to reach their potential.  You just might be surprised!

Field Trips/ Outings

If you are going to a place the child has never been before, you may have to be creative when explaining where you are going.  For example, if you were going to the movie theater to see a movie that maybe the child is unaware of or he/she is uninterested in, you may need to tell them you are going to eat popcorn.  If the child knows what popcorn is, and enjoys eating it, it will lessen their anxiety about where they are going without lying to them.
Some other tips on movie theaters:
Autistic children already live in a world similar to a movie theater.  We enjoy going to the movies because of the large screen and surround sound in a dark room, making it the ultimate experience for our senses.  Children with autism, who experience sensory overload everyday, may not think this is an exciting place to be.  It may be overwhelming and over-stimulating.
They may also not be able to handle the anxiety of not knowing what to expect from a new movie they have never seen, especially when going into sensory overload.  We should always remember, that just because something is fun and enjoyable for us or most children, does not mean it is fun and enjoyable for Autistic individuals.
You may wonder how someone with autism who has very specific, delight from movies or television could not like to go to the movies.  You may also wonder how they could ever like any video or program if they don't like watching things they haven't seen before.
This is where their unique heightened senses come in to play.  First thing children with autism like is commercials.  They are short...often funny in a exaggerated sort of way....catchy or have theme music or jingle.  They are too short to get too much anxiety worked up about it, and don't  have a plot or characters to really be concerned about.  Plus, they could hear the sound from the TV  in a non-confrontational way....like in the back of the house in their bedroom.
Once they have heard something at least once and realized it is nothing to be scared of, they will either LOVE it or HATE it!
We started taking my autistic son to the movies when he was about 3 or 4.  Periodically, children's movies for military families would be shown for free on post, and so we liked to take advantage of the opportunity  thinking the boys would really love it.  But it was the opposite.  Tristen, even with popcorn, pop and goodies, could not take the booming sound and anxiety of what was about to happen on screen.  We spent the whole movie hiding behind the back wall and him peeking around the corner periodically with one eye.  He never cared for that movie even as he got older.  But we kept taking him and trying to work his way into the audience.  Sometimes it would end up being a favorite movie we would later buy and he would watch and watch until the tape broke.  And it got better each time we tried taking him, to where now at 15, we could go to just about any movie and he will be ok.  (If it gets a little too intense, he will ask to go to the bathroom)
The purpose of field trips and outings it to help the kids to overcome their fears so they can have more enjoyment out of life and be out in public without completely melting down.
I always take the autistic child to use the bathroom as soon as we reach our new destination.  It is good for them to get familiar with different bathrooms because they tend to be a scary place for them.  Once they are introduced to the bathroom, I ask them if they need to go now and then to be sure they do not have an accident.
It's good to have your "bag of tricks" just as if you were taking your toddler out.  Books, toys...favorites...treats and maybe even candy as a last resort.
As always, remain calm.  Be respectful an courteous  but do not worry about what others are thinking about the situation you may be in.  Be in the moment, there to help your child.

What You Need to Know about the Gluten-Free Casein Free Diet

There are not always clear instructions when going gluten and casein free. It is easy for someone to  become confused about it's effectiveness.
My children and I have been gfcf for about 4 years.   We have allergies and sensitivities.
When I first started the diet, I did not see a huge difference or withdrawals from my children.  I myself went through the worst withdrawal from when I cut out sugar and starches.  We cut things out slowly and replaced them with substitutes and some things we just stopped eating all together.
One of the biggest misconceptions of the diet, is that there will be an immediate reaction to a food that the child does not tolerate well.  Most of the time, the reaction comes the next day.  It is their mood when they wake up in the morning as well.  They may sleep so hard they wet the bed or sleep for 10 to 12 hours and still feel tired the next day.  Everything will irritate them.  They will CRAVE the food and search desperately for more.  This is not a fun day for anyone.
Another myth is that oats and barley do not contain gluten.  If you are not cutting these out, you may not realize the benefits of eliminating wheat, because they are still consuming gluten.  One way to confirm a reaction to these foods is to look for what I call "the bottomless pit".  The eating of this food usually goes on and on and on as if the child cannot tell when they are full.  They will eat and eat and eat it as long as you put it in front of them.
The severity and timing of the reaction also depends on the status of the gut.  If the child is having regular bowel movements, the reaction might not last as long...maybe 24 hours.  If a child is severely constipated, his bowel being so impacted, he may not react to the food right away because it is not reaching his intestines as quickly as when proper digesting is occurring.  In addition, if a child is not completely expelling his bowels, and sticky feces is coating the intestine, they may not feel the effects as quickly because the sludge lining is not allowing the in-tolerances through and into the blood stream.  Alternately, if a child often has loose bowels  has just had a large bowel movement, or had a laxative of some sort, the reaction to a food may be immediate.
The cravings for foods such as these are severe.  The longer time you space in between infractions the better.        If a person were kicking an addiction to cocaine, you would not give them "just a little" crack because it  "won't hurt".  It DOES hurt, mentally and emotionally, because it sends you back to square one of kicking the habit.
Be careful not to substitute with sugar and other starchy carbs.  These can become just as addictive.  Sugar causes yeast to grown in the intestine causing more cravings and gut dysfunction.  It should be avoided indefinitely.
I have observed many children on the spectrum and their reactions to food.  I myself have food reactions, allergies and intollerences.  My son with Autism reacts to gluten and casein even though he does not have a confirmed "allergy" to them.  My other son who is not clinically diagnosed with Autism, but has sensory issues is allergic to wheat and dairy and has very obvious reactions after eating them, like mood swings, fear and anxiety.
Eliminating foods is an easy way to help children with issues navigate the world.  It is easy because it is only food.  It is amazing because it is only food.  No one would go to that much effort to change their child's diet and then stick to it, if it did not work.

Tips for the ER

We had a trip to the ER.  First one in a LONG time.....since the days of the high week-long fevers and "my brain is on fire".  When you first see Tristen, you wouldn't realize he has Autism.  If you watched him for a while, you might wonder why this weird kid keeps talking to himself.
First thing I immediately realized was I should have had one of the famous "How would you rate your pain?"  charts with all the faces on it.  At first glance, the doctors and nurses do not realize he has autism, so they want him to rate his pain, which is tricky at best for most people, not to mention those on the spectrum.  Making a wallet sized chart for my purse is on my list. I tried to explain it the best I could, but really should have gone through each number and what kind of pain that meant.  He said, "Uh.....10??????"  He wasn't sure how to answer.
My son is verbal and 15 and not obviously autistic, so not until after a few times of me translating directions into a way he could understand and hearing  his speech delay, did they start to understand his situation.  I do not come out and tell people in front of him that he has Autism, because he doesn't really know he has it or what it is.  I don't want him to feel like it's a derogatory thing that identifies him.  If I can work it into the conversation without it being directed at him, that's how I do it.
"Who is his primary care physician?"
"He sees an Autism Specialist."
That usually does the trick.
Be prepared to explain calmly what is going on to your child in case they do not understand the obvious (which they probably won't).  The doctor told Tristen he was going to put his hand in a splint.  He immediately tensed up and whined at the thought of a "splint-er" which was his only frame of reference.  Being prepared to translate directions and also unfamiliar words will make your visit to the ER go much more smoothly.
When the doctor went to cut the gauze on his injured hand, Tristen screeched thinking the doctor was going to cut him.  Calmly explaining that he was cutting a hole for his thumb to go through kept him from going into full melt-down mode.
During the painful process of setting a splint, Tristen was having difficulty dealing with the pain, so I asked him if he was thinking of his favorite SpongeBob episode.  He immediately went into his own world and told me all about the time Patrick was trying to blow bubbles.  We were done before he could finish.
During the X-ray we talked about the equipment and what it did.  We talked about how cool it was to see our bones inside our body.
Being as patient and calm as possible during an event where you might not feel so calm is your best line of defense for an uncomfortable situation such as this.  Autistic kids take their cues from us, their caretakers.  If we lose it, they lose it.  We have to be pros and putting our feelings aside and making their comfort our first priority.