Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Don't Believe Me

You may see me posting  a lot about the dangers of vaccines.  The truth of the matter is, my son was injured by vaccines. Initially his brain started to swell after his first injection as an infant causing brain damage.  At the age of two, he was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Delay, Not Otherwise Specified and an unknown fever etiology.  By the time he was 8, he was diagnosed with Autism.

But you don't have to believe me.  I know I must sound like a mom who is looking for someone to blame.  The truth is....I never wanted or needed someone to blame.  I believe this was God's plan for Tristen, no matter how it came about, and I devote my life to helping my son reach his full potential.

Despite those feelings, I will never stop fighting to keep other children from being damaged.  I believe Tristen was given to me at this time on earth, so I could help bring to light the dangers of vaccines to protect others.

You don't have to believe me.  I know that "God" is just as a controversial topic as "vaccines".  I'm not here to agree with everyone on everything.  These are my beliefs  and I'm allowed to have them.

My son suffering the lasting effects of vaccine damage resulting in an autism diagnosis, I believe, was in God's plan for us; unfortunately he had to be harmed to bring to light the injustice being done to thousands of children.  Those of you believing in herd immunity should understand this concept.

When something so devastating happens to your family, you want to tell the world to warn them and protect them from the same fate.  It's the same way I feel about God and my Savior Jesus Christ.  I want to tell the world the power and peace that comes from that faith.

The sad thing is....I don't.

There is so much negativity when one share's their beliefs.  I guess that's the price we pay for freedom of speech....we have the freedom to say it and others have the freedom to disagree.  The disagreements I can take, actually, it's the hatefulness that pours out of some people that is hard to stomach.

So I want to extend a challenge.  Don't believe me.

Don't believe what you didn't see.  You didn't see my son scream in pain or witness his head swell.  You didn't see him lose the ability to nurse or keep down any food.  You didn't see him continue to slip away into his own world more and more after each shot, so much so, that he was unable to speak, listen or keep himself safe.

That's ok.  Sometimes it's hard to believe what we didn't see.

Don't believe me about the existence of God.  You didn't experience his tender mercy of peace in my heart after my son's diagnosis.  You weren't there when I prayed for him to sleep; or when I pleaded with God to heal him of his rashes and fevers.  You didn't see the miracles in progress after therapies and treatments.  I get it.  It's hard to believe what you didn't experience.  It's tough to believe what you can't see.

Don't believe the countless doctors, scientists, therapists and teachers who believe vaccines contribute to autism.  That is just their opinion after all, and there are just as many of them on the other side of the fence contradicting everything they say.

Don't believe the published medical journal articles proving vaccines cause damage, because, again, there are plenty of them stating the opposite.

Do you believe what a judge rules to be true?  That if they find enough evidence, they can rule a vaccine caused autism in a certain case?  It might be time you checked out the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program and ask yourself, "Why would a government program such as this exist, if all vaccines were safe all the time?"

Maybe you believe it's only used in very rare cases and refuse to look into it further.

You can't make an educated decision without all available information.  And I'm not talking about second hand information spewed out of bought and paid for TV news reporters.  I mean really taking the time to look for your own answers from trustable resources.

Maybe that's too much work.

Have you heard of the CDC whistleblower and the Merck whistleblowers?  Would you believe that the CDC admitted to omitting data from their research paper to hide the link THEY found connecting the MMR to autism?

Here is my point:

What I really want you to take a moment to pay attention to is this:

The people who MADE the vaccines and put them into packages, added a piece of paper explaining the ingredients and the risks of their product. Forget the ingredients for a moment, because it seems no one can agree if these ingredients are harmful or not.  But read the RISKS from the MAKER OF THE VACCINE.  It is their own admission.

"Adverse events reported during post-approval use of Tripedia vaccine include idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, SIDS, anaphylactic reaction, cellulitis, autism, convulsion/grand mal convulsion, encephalopathy, hypotonia, neuropathy, somnolence and apnea. Events were included in this list because of the seriousness or frequency of reporting."


Tripedia is a DTP vaccine that has recently been discontinued. However, it is proof, from the maker of the vaccine itself, that an adverse event of this vaccine was in fact Autism. 

I doubt they will make the mistake of adding that to any other insert, but I hope you will take the time to read them.

At the end of the day, we all have to answer to our own conscience.  We have to make the best educated decision we can for our children.  Research yourself at the site listed above. 

Don't take my word for it.

Monday, March 2, 2015



Birthdays are always cause for reflection. Especially in kids with autism. So many emotions. Such a long journey, filled with progress, success, and innumerable blessings.

Amongst the positives, also lies the reality. As I type this, he is pacing back and forth reciting an episode of Chowder to himself all the while inserting snippits of sliding, spinning and flapping.

He makes a slight sniffing noise from the congestion in his sinuses. I make a mental note that I need to diffuse the essential oils.

I could write until my last breath about all the wonderful things that make up my Tristen. I could write about no matter how small the gain, the joy is large and pure. I could write about his future, where it should be and where it could be.

But today, I want to write about his self-lessness.

You might think that someone with autism is selfish. In ways they can be, even when they don't mean to be. They tend to see their wants and needs over others, just like many small children. If you really get to know people with disabilities, you will see there are many very kind an generous individuals. This is just one area where Tristen excels.

Although many of us may wonder why people forget our birthdays and sulk over not even getting a text or Facebook message, Tristen doesn't.

He doesn't expect it. He doesn't look for it and use it to define his self-worth. He can feel those who love him regardless of well-wishes and presents. He knows he will have a great day.

There are many people who are close to him, that consistently forget his birthday. Some who get him gifts some of the time, but not all of the time. Family, who he knows very well, often “forget”.

Tristen isn't selfish in that way. He isn't constantly wondering why the world isn't thinking about him. Nor, is he wondering why his family isn't thinking of him either.

In this way, he has been protected from the hurt that many kids would justifiably feel.

I'm sure, if his Dad and I didn't have a cake and gifts for him, he would ask why because it's been a consistent tradition. But, I know for a fact if we told him we couldn't for a good reason, he would be disappointed, but he would understand.

I learn so many lessons from him about compassion and what is truly important in life. It is not the number of friends you have at your birthday party or how many gifts you get. Celebrating another year of life is about feeling love, being loved and loving others....and a day to reflect on all that is good and has been good in your life. It's a day of gratitude.

And in this, I can be grateful and content on this birthday, and overlook the spinning, flapping and pacing, because what is in my son's heart, is worth a lifetime of birthday gifts.